here goes.

I have decided to apply for grad school.
The applications are torturous, time-demanding and costly.
Looks like i'm heading down under cos the parents are not for the states.
"too dangerous", "too far", "too costly".

Its funny how for a long time, one thinks graduation day will never come. It has only recently hit me that it will be but a few more months before you don that blue gown you've always been waiting to wear, walk up that stage, shake the hands of people you've never met or spoken to in your whole life, firmly yet gently hold on to that precious piece of paper which you've been dreaming of your whole life, working towards since the day first words are spoken. that precious piece of paper. Its a mirage of feelings this stage i'm at. To an extent where words cannot express this confusion in me.

It will be at least two years straight if i get accepted. Four years if i go with the parents wishes to do a phd right after. Wont be coming back anytime inbetween (or at least i think) not because i dont want to but because the curriculum doesnt allow it.

I;m scared.excited.apprehensive.looking forward.worried.eager.nervous.overjoyed. all.at.once.